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For This week, I'm going to quote from a pm I received from corrupt. Yes. Yes we can. 
I wish for happiness.
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k
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Happiness is re-defined as sadness.
I wish for a puppy.
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You get a puppy but the puppy has terminal cancer and will die the second you start loving it.
I wish to be rich.
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You get rich... in bird crap.
I wish for a puppy that couldn't die the second I started loving it.
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You get rich... in bird crap.
I wish for a puppy that couldn't die the second I started loving it. You get a puppy that turns evil the second you start loving it.
I wish I could figure out how to get my "Super Mario Bros Frustration" ROM to work
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you get it to work, but your computer bursts into flames trying to run it.
I wish for chocolate.
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k
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You end up eating chocolate flavored Laxative in extreme amounts causing you to... I'll spare you the details.
I wish I could use Ruckus.
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You get a puppy that turns evil the second you start loving it. Oooh... sounds more like me.  You can, but 5 seconds after you start using it, you die. I wish for a new piano.
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You get it but it falls one thousand three hundred thirty seven feet from the top of a building and dramatically crushes every single bone in your body leaving you but a blood stain on the sidewalk much like the kid who gets crushed by the pane of glass in Final Destination 2.
I wish I didn't have such a sick mind. oO I scare myself.
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Your wish could not be granted. Sorry.
I wish I owned the world.
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You owned the world, but there's nobody on it.
I wish I could do better at school.
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You do better in school but only to find out that the school isn't accredited and doesn't count for shit.
I wish I do well in my job interview in a few hours. (any of you wish bad luck upon me and I will hurt you.  )
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Your job interview is a complete success. Unfortunately the company you applied for guys bankrupt. Better luck next time.
I wish I had a time machine. Hell yeah.
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You had a working time machine, but the moment it brings you to another era, the machine fails and you are stuck there forever.
I wish I could code.
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You can code, but computers no longer exist.
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I wish I had more free time.
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