(18:05:17) [ CD ]:
(18:05:24) ShadowyOne: I had to log in twice for that, you know.
(18:05:41) [ CD ]: You did? Must of logged in while I was running something to my neighbors
(18:05:57) ShadowyOne: I'm guessing you also have sounds for when someone logs in, right?
(18:06:27) [ CD ]: Yeah, and a little pop-up message saying "The Ownagor (ShadowyOne) has logged in"
(18:07:02) ShadowyOne: Heh. That title just sounds awesome when said aloud for some reason.
(18:07:05) ShadowyOne: =P
(18:07:15) [ CD ]: I know, but its horrible when spelled
(18:07:30) ShadowyOne: You can't have it all.
(18:07:42) [ CD ]: Yes you can. Join KEA, and get it all
(18:07:50) [ CD ]: And get it all night long.... >_>
(18:08:04) ShadowyOne: That's what night school is for.
(18:08:12) [ CD ]: XD
(18:08:46) ShadowyOne: We only accept the first couple dozen of "students," and finding good "teachers" is a bitch, I tell ya.
(18:09:18) [ CD ]: But aren't you a teacher?
(18:09:51) ShadowyOne: Well...yes. You do have to put in sacrifices to your agenda every now and then.
(18:09:58) [ CD ]: XD
(18:10:54) ShadowyOne: I had to sacrifice Scrabble night to do that, you know.
(18:11:04) [ CD ]: Its worth it
(18:11:33) ShadowyOne: Yes, although I still manage to fit in Scrabble sometimes for some reason.
(18:11:44) [ CD ]: True, true
(18:12:09) ShadowyOne: Okay, that poll dude is always offline.
(18:12:13) ShadowyOne: He should just make a friggin' topic.
(18:12:21) ShadowyOne: Instead of this MSN stuff.
(18:12:34) [ CD ]: XD
(18:13:34) [ CD ] has closed the conversation window.
(18:14:08) ShadowyOne: People suddenly walking into the room with the computer always stalls me.
(18:14:30) [ CD ]:
(18:14:53) ShadowyOne: "What are you doing?" "I'm chatting with a 40-year-old rapist, why?"
(18:15:00) ShadowyOne: Okay, I lied about that last part.
(18:15:13) [ CD ]: Probably
(18:15:24) ShadowyOne: Unless you really ARE a 40-year-old rapist.
(18:15:36) ShadowyOne: Then, even though my statement's true, I'll be scared.
(18:15:47) [ CD ]: I have posted my pictuer I have proof I'm not
(18:15:56) ShadowyOne: THAT COULD BE ANYBODY YOU RAPIST
(18:16:24) [ CD ]: I posted two... and crazy posted one
(18:17:15) ShadowyOne: You should post a picture of you holding a handwritten sign saying "CD." Then again, that could be you making one of your boy-whores stand in front of the camera.
(18:17:45) [ CD ]: Or I could plug in my webcam and show you
(18:18:19) ShadowyOne: Or it could be your little boy-whore in front of the camera, meaning you should never trust anything over the Internet. Or something. I'm actually just more tired than yesterday.
(18:19:05) [ CD ]: Apparently. And, I couldn't fake it, because, the connection comes form my computer, to your whore, to your blow up doll, and then to you
(18:19:23) ShadowyOne: UNIVERSE ASPLODE
(18:20:22) ShadowyOne: Oh wait wait, KF posted in that topic. The loading time is too suspenseful. Actually, it finished loading a while ago, and I'm just typing this for no reason.
(18:20:43) ShadowyOne: "Ok, will do"? WTF?
(18:20:47) ShadowyOne: I expected some outburst.
(18:20:48) [ CD ]: XD
(18:20:52) ShadowyOne: Any kind, really.
(18:21:35) ShadowyOne: "^ Read CD's post." I DID read CD's post.
(18:21:48) [ CD ]: XD
(18:22:35) ShadowyOne: I got my hopes up too high for a different response, I guess.
(18:22:53) [ CD ]: Yep
(18:22:58) [ CD ]: Cause its completely your computers faulrt
(18:23:02) [ CD ]: Fault*
(18:23:10) ShadowyOne: Your post never said how to change it.
(18:23:24) ShadowyOne: And actually, topics keep staying as read if I click out of the topic once I read it.
(18:23:28) [ CD ]: You can't
(18:23:39) [ CD ]: Can't change it.... cause I don't know how >_>
(18:23:52) ShadowyOne: YOUR KNOWLEDGE IS TOO LOW TO BE PART OF THE KEA
(18:23:54) ShadowyOne: Or too high.
(18:23:56) ShadowyOne: Or something.
(18:24:15) [ CD ]: I'm technical support at Wal-Mart. I assure you I'm qualified for KEA
(18:24:48) ShadowyOne: CUSTOMER SUPPORT AT WAL-MART IS EVIL INCARNATED TWICE OVER WHILE HAVING BITS OF EVIL THROWN IN AND MIXED WITH A BATTER OF DOOM
(18:24:58) ShadowyOne: I hate the support there.
(18:25:03) [ CD ]: Technical, not customer
(18:25:23) [ CD ]: My job is to tell them they know nothing, should give up on life, and start cutting themselves daily.
(18:25:25) ShadowyOne: Have you SEEN the customer support there? Have you ever TRIED going there?
(18:25:26) ShadowyOne: XD
(18:25:43) [ CD ]: Because, see, they can't code HTML, JavaScript, and make web graphics
(18:26:19) ShadowyOne: People come up to me and say things like, "I had sex with my girlfriend while skydiving into a volcano." Then I say, "I tried to return something at Wal-Mart." and the dude I was talking to breaks down and starts crying.
(18:27:06) [ CD ]: That..... that is so god damn fucking hilarious.... there is no short-type phrase to express it
(18:27:35) ShadowyOne: Glad to hear it.
(18:28:06) ShadowyOne: The story was probably partially true, I think.
(18:28:13) [ CD ]: Must of been
(18:29:16) ShadowyOne: If only I were exaggerating. I mean, people have gotten their doctorates, found cures for diseases, and received nobel prizes, but I've actually managed to return something at Wal-Mart. Here, let me break down the steps of what happens:
(18:29:28) ShadowyOne: You walk into the store, and people sense that you're going to return something.
(18:29:39) [ CD ]: The doors don't even open if you're trying to return something
(18:29:41) ShadowyOne: They laugh at you, shove carts so you trip over them, etc.
(18:29:47) ShadowyOne: DON'T INTERRUPT EVEN THOUGH THAT WAS FUNNY
(18:29:48) [ CD ]: You have to ram it with a door man
(18:29:52) ShadowyOne: XD
(18:29:59) [ CD ]: car* <_<
(18:30:08) ShadowyOne: XD
(18:30:12) ShadowyOne: Anyway
(18:30:43) ShadowyOne: You ask someone where the customer service department is, and they fall to the floor dying of laughter.
(18:31:04) ShadowyOne: You then see a huge sign made of blood: CUSTOMER SERVICE (NOT RLY LOL)
(18:31:24) ShadowyOne: You head there, and one of two things happen: there's either a GIGANTIC line, or no line.
(18:31:45) ShadowyOne: The gigantic line will -- of course -- take time if you want to return something. But here's what happens when there's no line.
(18:31:56) ShadowyOne: You walk up to the desk. "I'd like to return this please."
(18:32:00) ShadowyOne: "Do you have a receipt?"
(18:32:03) ShadowyOne: "Yes."
(18:32:13) ShadowyOne: Then whoever was talking to you walks away, never to return.
(18:32:18) ShadowyOne: You wait, and wait.
(18:32:31) ShadowyOne: Then you yell and ring the bell and whatever you can do to gather attention.
(18:32:49) ShadowyOne: Someone else comes out, sees the receipt, and for some damn reason...needs to call their manager.
(18:33:16) ShadowyOne: Oh yeah, while this is all happening, a horde of undead souls tear through the dimensional rip in the basement and start eating away at your flesh, just so you know.
(18:33:26) [ CD ]: XD
(18:33:57) ShadowyOne: The manager comes, and says you can't return the item. You ask why, and he says he needs to call his supervisor.
(18:34:17) ShadowyOne: Then the masters of the horde of undead souls ride through on chariots of used merchandise and proceed to violate you.
(18:34:26) ShadowyOne: Flaming chariots, that is.
(18:35:43) ShadowyOne: The supervisor comes, sees the receipt, and says he needs to find his supervisor. You ask him that, since he's supposed to the supervisor. Upon hearing the question, he explodes and a paradox forms, opening the structure of time and space, ripping reality piece by piece.
(18:36:14) [ CD ]: Sounds like a normal trip to Wal-Mart... or Hatake
(18:36:48) ShadowyOne: Then the manager pretends that reality isn't falling apart, and calls another cashier. A 250 pound woman appears and winks at you seductively.
(18:36:56) ShadowyOne: Your dick shrivels up and explodes.
(18:37:14) ShadowyOne: She says she has the cash for the merchandise in the janitor's closet.
(18:37:26) ShadowyOne: You realize that now is your only chance to make a run for it, since she can't keep up with you.
(18:37:45) ShadowyOne: You run away, only to see that the very foundations of the building are falling apart.
(18:37:56) ShadowyOne: The reason: the fat tub of lard starts to RUN, chasing you.
(18:38:43) ShadowyOne: Meanwhile, the souls of the damned chant "May I help you?" while the dimensional rip continues to release all sorts of evil.
(18:39:44) ShadowyOne: When you finally reach the exit, a group of Southern hicks with missing eyes and teeth chant "Have a nice day." while blocking the exit.
(18:40:08) ShadowyOne: I had to do a roundhouse kick while jumping over the C4 I just detonated.
(18:40:29) ShadowyOne: That's all I remember. I don't know if reality's fixed itself by now or not, though.
(18:40:34) ShadowyOne: You've fallen sleep by now, haven't you?
(18:40:52) [ CD ]: Of course reality hasn't fixed itself. I'm talking with you and Bush is president
(18:41:36) ShadowyOne: Damn, you're right. I'd to back to fix it, but if I ever came back we'd probably be living in the earth's core with Bush's brother as co-president.
(18:41:48) [ CD ]: True
(18:42:41) ShadowyOne: That was my story.
(18:42:50) ShadowyOne: I should be some sort of world-renowned superhero by now.
(18:43:04) [ CD ]: That's nothing compared to what I've gone through at technical support
(18:43:35) ShadowyOne: O RLY?
(18:43:53) [ CD ]: The least horrible encounter was when the person's head exploded and a parasite came out like in RE4.... that's the best encounter. The worst still haunts my dreams
(18:44:20) ShadowyOne: You totally jumped through the phone and wrestled with the parasite, right?
(18:44:38) ShadowyOne: Las Plagas has nothing on the CD.
(18:44:48) [ CD ]: Fuck no... my supervisor did. Though, keep in mind, I work in the counter technical support, not phone lines
(18:45:06) ShadowyOne: Still, wrestling plagas to the ground = badass.
(18:45:07) [ CD ]: How he managed to go through a phone line, and appear at the front desk is beyond me
(18:45:19) ShadowyOne: Probably that gap in reality again.
(18:45:25) [ CD ]: I think he may be related to Zoten
(18:45:36) [ CD ]: But anyway, the worst encounter will make you shit your pants
(18:45:43) ShadowyOne: Too late.
(18:45:45) ShadowyOne: I mean, continue.
(18:46:08) [ CD ]: XD
(18:46:11) [ CD ]: Anyway
(18:47:06) [ CD ]: What happened was, I was at the front desk, sipping my coke, the day had been quite.... but all of the sudden, the building rumbled, the roof toor apart, and Bush holding onto a rope ladder with a cybernetic arm flies down with a helicopter.
(18:47:31) ShadowyOne: Interesting.
(18:48:01) [ CD ]: As soon as I saw him, I tried to break the glass on the container saying "Incase of Bush Emergeny", but the hammer was missing. Apparently I had traded it for my Coke, which to make the nitemare worse, I had just finished.
(18:48:25) ShadowyOne: XD Be right back, but keep typing.
(18:49:48) [ CD ]: I'm now, out of Coke, with no weapons, and facing Bush with a cybernetic arm, oh, and I forgot, he had gay porn tatooed on it. Anyway, as I tried to make a break for the Employee Only room, he said "liek eye n33d hepl dood lolz" My ears spontaneously started bleeding and bursting into flames
(18:52:14) [ CD ]: Now, as soon as those words were said, the Employee Only rooms door locked simultaneously as it was locked from the other side. Now, he wasn't just walking at me, he was running, while continuing to talk. By this point, I think my ears had fallen off, and I was only alive thanks to KEA training. What happened from that point on is sort of a blur, but I'll improvise- I mean, I'll try and retell it
(18:52:19) [ CD ]: as best as I can remember
(18:53:19) [ CD ] has closed the conversation window.
(18:54:07) ShadowyOne: WTFXD
(18:54:26) ShadowyOne: I think you've had too much training. Take a break.
(18:55:18) [ CD ]: No, its not even bad enough yet
(18:55:43) [ CD ]: Because, out of nowhere, Dick Chaney joined him, except, it was his head, on a fat girls body, with dog legs
(18:55:54) ShadowyOne: WHOA STOP RITE THURR
(18:56:20) [ CD ]: XD
(18:57:08) ShadowyOne: It seems we've both been through many adventures.
(18:57:24) [ CD ]: Yes. But I'm not done... though I'll save the rest for another day
(18:57:48) ShadowyOne: Probably. I think I've already overdosed on my daily allowance of awesome, anyway.
(18:58:07) [ CD ]: Wouldn't surprise me.
(18:58:39) [ CD ]: I'll just finish the ending. Somehow Godzilla got involved, ate them, and died by a Katana in his foot and bleeding to death
(18:58:49) ShadowyOne: XD
(18:59:16) ShadowyOne: But Godzilla doesn't bleed. He just lets out shrill yells that pierce through reality.
(18:59:31) ShadowyOne: Unless Mothra's involved.
(18:59:34) [ CD ]: Yes, but because it pierced through reality, he started bleeding
(18:59:36) ShadowyOne: Then it's a whole other story.
(18:59:43) ShadowyOne: Oh. Makes sense, then.
(19:00:58) ShadowyOne: The scream must've been loud though, because the Loch Ness Monster is running on land.
(19:01:08) ShadowyOne: And Bigfoot is the head executive of Acclaim.
(19:01:30) [ CD ]: XDD!
(19:01:47) [ CD ]: True, true. Which also explains why there's zombies out on my street, and there's humans in my copy of RE3
(19:02:25) ShadowyOne: Dude, that's not a zombie. That's Bill. He may be undead, but he has feelings, too.
(19:02:45) [ CD ]: Oh sorry.... its a common mistake. I can't believe I didn't recognize him....
(19:03:01) ShadowyOne: He probably won't show his face outside for a week now thanks to you.
(19:03:30) [ CD ]: Tell him I said sorry and that he can have Crazy
(19:03:42) ShadowyOne: Now it'll be two weeks.
(19:04:04) [ CD ]: Damn, but there's still other zombies out there
(19:04:20) ShadowyOne: Probably just a worldwide zombie epidemic. Nothing to worry about.
(19:04:36) [ CD ]: Of course. Leon will be here to take care of it soon
(19:05:02) ShadowyOne: Nah, he only killed zombies during his rookie days in RE2. Now he's all about committing genocide on the Las Plagas.
(19:05:17) [ CD ]: Oh, my bad.
(19:05:26) [ CD ]: We'll let Zoten take care of it
(19:05:45) ShadowyOne: As bait?
(19:05:51) [ CD ]: Yes
(19:06:09) [ CD ]: Because we know zombies love ice cream, so he can drive an ice cream truck into the grand canyon, and they'll follow
(19:06:21) ShadowyOne: Brilliant.
(19:06:35) [ CD ]: If he's lucky, he'll survive the fall
(19:06:40) ShadowyOne: Survive?
(19:06:42) ShadowyOne: Oh, okay.
(19:06:54) ShadowyOne: Didn't know that was part of the plan.
(19:07:00) [ CD ]: We need him as bait to lure the remaning zombies into Bush's house
(19:07:30) ShadowyOne: True. That's a hell of a plan.
(19:08:01) [ CD ]: I got it from that ghost over my shoulder
(19:08:26) ShadowyOne: Bob's had it with you calling him a ghost.
(19:08:36) [ CD ]: No, this isn't Bob. This is Joe
(19:08:47) ShadowyOne: Right, right.
(19:08:50) [ CD ]: Bob's in his house, not mine. Remember?
(19:09:07) ShadowyOne: Wasn't that Billy?
(19:09:35) [ CD ]: Oh, right sorry. Bob's the dude in my basement.
(19:10:16) ShadowyOne: By the way, he wants me to tell you to let him down from hanging in chains on your wall.
(19:10:50) [ CD ]: No. He tried to kill me last time I did
(19:11:05) [ CD ]: Sort of like the Garradors
(19:11:23) ShadowyOne: He's just a little sensitive. You have to reason with him.
(19:11:30) ShadowyOne: If he impales you again I'll have to come over.
(19:11:55) [ CD ]: Eh, don't worry. I'll use my Matrix skillls to dodge it
(19:12:11) ShadowyOne: I should save this convo.
(19:12:19) [ CD ]: I'm gonna post it at SZ
(19:12:44) ShadowyOne: Right, I forgot about that thread. I think the last convo you posted scared away some of the members, though.
(19:13:09) [ CD ]: No, they just think its so awesome they aren't worthy of coming back to SZ because of it
(19:13:18) ShadowyOne: I could accept that.
(19:13:32) [ CD ]: So could they
(19:13:54) ShadowyOne: They'll have to come to terms that OD'ing on awesome is nothing to be ashamed of.
(19:13:57) ShadowyOne: We all have our addictions.
(19:14:15) [ CD ]: And OD'ing on awesome isn't illegal either, unlike OD'ing on SO
(19:14:37) ShadowyOne: Oh, so I'm a form of illegal crack whores use on the street now?
(19:14:52) [ CD ]: Yep
(19:14:59) ShadowyOne: Cool.
(19:15:06) ShadowyOne: I mean, I won't accept that.
(19:15:26) [ CD ]: Yes you will
(19:15:31) [ CD ]: Or I'll stuff it down your throat
(19:15:40) ShadowyOne: What? The whore or the crack?
(19:16:11) [ CD ]: Both, and then the idea written down on paper, so that you'll get paper cuts in your throat. Then I'll throw some salt down your throat
(19:16:34) ShadowyOne: I'm guessing your therapy sessions haven't been doing much good for you, have they?
(19:16:54) [ CD ]: Therapy? I killed the therapist about two years ago
(19:17:07) ShadowyOne: That's probably why it's not working.
(19:17:14) [ CD ]: I bet.
(19:17:25) [ CD ]: And for some reason, I'm extremely pissed right now, but I'm enjoying it
(19:17:38) ShadowyOne: Well that's completely normal.
(19:17:56) [ CD ]: I know, but I shouldn't be pissed. Football is an anger reliever
(19:18:05) [ CD ]: Just like your mom is a stress reliever
(19:18:16) ShadowyOne: HOW CLEVAR LOL M I RITE?!
(19:18:22) [ CD ]: Yes you are
(19:18:40) ShadowyOne: ur faec rofl
(19:18:50) [ CD ]: MY face is better then your's at least
(19:18:58) ShadowyOne: Be right back.
(19:19:02) [ CD ]: k
(19:20:02) [ CD ] has closed the conversation window.
(19:20:30) ShadowyOne: Back. The UN called again. Said they would take action against me unless I gave them back their plans for world peace. I said I was talking to CD online and hung up.
(19:20:34) ShadowyOne: I think they understand, though.
(19:21:05) [ CD ]: Of course, because I conquered them last night with a knife, chess piece, and a chesseburger from Burger King
(19:21:22) ShadowyOne: The chess piece was a nice touch.
(19:21:48) [ CD ]: Yes. They never saw the queen coming, because she can jump across the world in a straight line
(19:22:03) ShadowyOne: Is this the same world we're talking about?
(19:22:32) [ CD ]: No. The UN meets in a 2D chess board room. So she was able to conquer them all in a matter of 18 moves. All 27 of them
(19:23:15) ShadowyOne: So it's like Mortal Kombat: Deception's chess mode, minus the Fatalities and scantily-clad chicks?
(19:23:56) [ CD ]: No, those were both there. Except, the Fatalities were just big words being shown by my personal light crew, and the scantily-clad chicks were extras
(19:24:23) ShadowyOne: Right. It all makes sense now.
(19:24:44) [ CD ]: Yep
(19:25:31) ShadowyOne: Hey, it seems to be Friday. Unless the whole "reality is falling apart" thing switched days on us again.
(19:25:55) [ CD ]: No. But its actually Thursday. You jsut didn't get the memo letter
(19:26:13) ShadowyOne: Guess I'll have to show up for school tomorrow, then.
(19:26:42) [ CD ]: Yep. So sleep now so you can rush your homework in the morning
(19:26:53) ShadowyOne: CRAP! I just dropped a strawberry on my white shirt.
(19:26:55) ShadowyOne: This won't end well.
(19:27:14) [ CD ]: XD
(19:27:57) ShadowyOne: Might as well dump more food on it, then.
(19:28:09) [ CD ]: YEp
(19:28:43) ShadowyOne: Let's see...ketchup, mustard, mayo...no...I got it. I'll take those and a big salmon, blend 'em up, and paint it on my shirt.
(19:28:50) [ CD ]: XD
(19:28:58) ShadowyOne: I just reread that and that's messed up.
(19:29:09) ShadowyOne: SLEEP DEPRIVATION, WHY MUST YOU CONTINUE TO MOCK ME?
(19:30:09) [ CD ] has closed the conversation window.
(19:30:26) ShadowyOne: I just read one of my friend's MySpace things. I'll be in the bathroom cleansing my eyes with rubbing alcohol.
(19:30:32) [ CD ]: XD
(19:30:50) ShadowyOne: Oh...man...BUT THE BURNING MUST MEAN THE CLEANING IS WORKING
(19:31:06) [ CD ]: OF course
(19:31:10) [ CD ]: So keep doing it
(19:31:45) ShadowyOne: I got it. I'll dive into a pool of rubbing alcohol. That won't fry up my organs from the inside or anything.
(19:31:58) [ CD ]: OF course not
(19:32:33) ShadowyOne: " i hope ur havin amazing birthday altho i no u wood rather b with me haha im jk cali is bettr than me! obviously well il ttyl * i miss u so come home soon*
@$h/3y"
(19:32:49) ShadowyOne: Help.
(19:32:54) ShadowyOne: I need somebody.
(19:32:55) ShadowyOne: Help.
(19:32:58) ShadowyOne: Not just anybody.
(19:33:23) [ CD ]: XD I know that song!
(19:33:46) ShadowyOne: Good, because if you didn't, that whole thing wouldn't make sense and would come out being pretty awkward.
(19:34:16) [ CD ]: Yes it would
(19:34:47) ShadowyOne: "omsh having all of our classes together was so much fun!! i am so glad i met you and ur such a great kid!! and em's and steph's party was fun discussing ur bad bad hottness taste in girls!! lol jk!! we still need to discuss that whole thing!! lol!! well i hope ur having a great summer and i hope you had a great b day!!! when you get back call me and we will hang out seeing you are totally ditching me for the smart ppl!! EINSTEIN!! i am not quite sure i spelt
..lyssa"
(19:34:53) ShadowyOne: Some people should be banned from life.
(19:35:12) [ CD ]: YEp
(19:36:01) [ CD ]: Song is "Help!" >_>
(19:36:12) ShadowyOne: I'm guessing you were looking for the title all this time?
(19:36:24) [ CD ]: Eh, I have the song in iTunes Got it from my dad's CDs
(19:37:09) ShadowyOne: I see. *closes out of MySpace*
(19:37:11) ShadowyOne: Much better.
(19:37:15) [ CD ]: I bte.
(19:37:18) [ CD ]: bet*
(19:38:18) [ CD ] has closed the conversation window.
(19:38:55) ShadowyOne: I should probably go play something now. Haven't done it in nearly a week. Do you want to post the convo at SZ or should I do it this time?
(19:39:05) [ CD ]: You can
(19:39:19) ShadowyOne: All right, then.