Joe's Convo's with God...

Just so you know.. this isn't Xylish/Joe ok? so it has in no way got anything to do with him.. this article was written by a friend of mine.. and she gave me permission to write it here....

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Written by Jaclyn and Jacqueline
(Any offense taken to the following writing cannot be blamed on it's writer as we were incredibly bored in Math class and full of randomness. Therefore if you have a problem, blame the damn government that tries to fill us with useless informantion for 13 years of our lives! Thank you:))

Joe: Are you there God? It's me, Joe!
God: Hello Joe, how are you?
Joe: Good, you?
God: I feel no emotion
Joe: o...k.... what is new in heaven?
God: We got a new group of females who passed on last night.
Joe: How did they die? BTW.. how's my grandmother doing?
God: they were doing bad things Joe... it was time. Your grandmother is
fine.
Joe: cool! hey, uh, do you know when it's ppls time? like if someone asked
u when they were going to die (and how) could you tell them?
God: Yes I know, no I won't tell you.
Joe: at least tell me HOW I die?
God: You get killed by a goldfish
Joe: OMG! My girlfriend has a goldfish!!
God: no Joe, she has a turtle, besides I'm talking about the crackers.
Joe: I JUST BOUGHT GOLDFISH CRACKERS!!
God: Settle down Joe.
Joe: *cries* but I'm gonna die!
God: All humans die.
Joe: But I'm gonna die tonight at my party that I bought em for!
God: I never gave a time.
Joe: But I hate them and only bought em cuz my friends luv em!
God: Settle Joe, you'll make youself have a heart attack over crackers.
Joe: *clams* ..k... I'm cool... so.... am I?
God: Are you what?
Joe: gonna die tonight?
God: No Joe.
Joe: Well.. that's good news.
God: Yes Joe.
Joe: Were you ever alive?
God: Yes Joe.
Joe: How did you die?
God: I didn't Joe.
Joe: Are you still alive then?
God: No Joe.
Joe: I don't get it!
God: Most don't
Joe: k
God: don't try to understand Joe.
Joe: gotcha
God: no
Joe: nevermind... hows ... umm... Jesus?
God: no
Joe: hmm?
God: nevermind
Joe: how is he? sorry.. He
God: he... was a she
Joe: sorry what???
God: He never died Joe, it was His idea how to get a sex change and live as real man
Joe: Woman you mean? lol! have I ever talked to him? I mean... Her?
God: no, she was a woman but she descided she wanted to be a man
Joe: oh... have I met Him?
God: No he's long gone, he is in another life now.
Joe: what life?
God: of a goldfish.
Joe: cracker or not?
God: Not, He's in a pet store
Joe: but I get killed by crackers right?
God: Yes Joe
Joe: k.. just making sure! How did he die?
God: he was discovered.
Joe: by your girlfriend's great great great great great great great great great grandmother.
Joe: freaky! umm...God?
God: yes Joe?
Joe: How does my mom die? my girlfriend too?
God: Your mother dies naturally. Yuor girlfriend never dies.
Joe:
God: Yes Joe?
Joe: What you mean? she never dies? Is she a Saint?
God: No Joe, She becomes a godess
Joe: Why?
God: Because she earns it
Joe: how?
God: by showing great strength
Joe: What you mean strength? She can't even lift my wrench!
God: emotional strength Joe, she will become the goddess of hope and strength
Joe: k.. oh! I remember what I was gonna ask you! Am I gonna be a serial killer?
God: no Joe
Joe: so the gypsy was wrong then!
God: no Joe
Joe: what??
God: She said yuo'd be a cereal killer, you will be since you are afraid of crackers and all grain products
Joe: Oh! Finally I get ot kill that bastard Captain Crunch!
God: No Joe
Joe: Ahh What???
God: you will try but you will not because of his secret
Joe: What Secret? Is the Trix bunny with him???
God: no.. he is your father joe
Joe: *Star Wars Style* NOOOOOOOOOOO! *as hanging off abridge kinda thing*
God: settle down Joe
Joe: but.. I hate him!
God: You love him more than your mother
Joe: DUDE! She was just in the room man! Not cool! Shit now she's crying~
God: You don't know her past Joe, she's your arch nemisis
Joe: What??!?!
God: think about it Joe
Joe: Well, she did try to poison me last night. Hey! She tries to kill me at least twice a day!
God: you know who she is then Joe?
Joe: nope
God: who is your most hates girl Joe?
Joe: Paris Hilton?!!!?
God: The very same Joe
Joe: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!11
God: sorry Joe
Joe: it's ok... I just... "eliminated" her
God: JOE!!!!
Joe? Well she f**ked Captain Crunch and she is Paris Hilton,, you would do the same in my shoes!
God: No Joe I wouldn't but you are human
Joe: EXACTLY! I'm a lowly human! I make mistakes you know!
God: I know Joe.. this was one
Joe: So... Oh forgiving and merciful God... you forgive me?
God: yes Joe, but it is not me who needs to forgive you.
Joe: sorry.. I gotta go! I got a date with a goddes. Cya later God!
God: humans *rolls eyes*

This completes the first edition of Joe and His Conversations with God.


©2005 Jacqueline and Jaclyn



Last Edit: Jun 26, 2006 22:20:44 GMT by Chris