Christmas Shoes

It reminds of so much when my aunt died, and my cousin and his dad were left all alone. Then two short years later his dad passed away soon after Christmas.

You sent that song to me about two years ago, and I still have it. I actually like it.

There aren't any songs that I cry over. There used to be two that I did for one singular reason but I don't anymore. Haven't for about a year. I listen to one of them quite often, actually, and consider it one of the greatest songs ever created.

I dont think songs can make u cry,if your in a good mood,it all depends in the mood your in when u listen to the song,

www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2j7N6o-lhY

I cry when I listen to Pink Floyd's "Wish you were here".

In August of 2001, I lost my sister who was at the time Twenty One. She had just celebrated her birthday about two months previous. One day about 9am my mom called the house, informing me to gather everyone up, and not to let any one leave. We waited about an hour and my mom came in the house, looking like she had seen a ghost. after about five minutes of trying to get her calmed down, she told us that our sister Heidi had drowned the following night while attending a party.

Heidi was like my mom. Our mother has rarely been here for us because of her active role in the US Air Force, and seeing as Heidi was the oldest, she took care of us.

A year and some before this, my parents divorced, stating that their relationship was too far separated by work to continue with it.

A year before that My Grandmother from my dads side, the one who taught me to write, toilet trained me, and lead my through most of my early years, passed away from cancer. She had suffered from cancer on seven different occasions, from 1968 and onward.

So for three years, I lost things in my life that were of a great importance to me. A sister who raised me. A grand mother who raised me. And the marriage of my parents, the thing I thought would always keep our family together. Whether mom was gone to the middle east, or dad was some where in Asia, I knew that if they were married we would always be together.

So I lost all that, and then I lost something else soon after. In 2003, I was seriously injured in a bicycle accident involving two other riders. I suffered from a broken sternum, ribs, broken right arm, and broken back. I was hospitalized for 5 months, three months of that in the ICU.

At the time, it seemed like, my pro cycling career was over.

That pretty much wrecked me.

When I returned home, I was in a wheel chair, surrounded by old memories. Reminding me of things I no longer had. My career, my family, and life as I knew it.

With that, I decided that I had nothing to live for any more.

In December of 2003, I tried to take my own life, as a result of the depression caused by the four years of suffering and pain that I went through.



All in all, the song reminds me of nothing but bad times in my life.


I've played the song live with several different bands, in memory of my sister. It really means a lot to me.

Not going into details, but Dani California.

Same.

As well as Bob Carlisle's Butterfly Kisses. Just reminds me of the father-daughter relationship I never had, nor will ever get to have.

Oh god, I feel sorry for you. I really do.

Baha Chris you rock!


Last Edit: Jul 28, 2008 8:50:03 GMT by tcm

I find Going To California sadder. I know why you feel that way, but to me, it's a very upbeat song.