John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns' sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Mark came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Mark, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

A guy walked into a bar... Ouch.

There was a pickle, a watermelon, and a penis, and they're talking about who's life is the worst.

The watermelon goes first. "I'm chopped off my vine, and thrown into a truck with all my other dying friends"

The pickle goes next. "That's nothing. I'm thrown into a jar filled and forced to soak in my own bodily fluids."

The penis goes last. "You're lives are nothing to mine. I get a bag thrown over my had, get shoved into a dark cave, and get shaken around untill I throw up."

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"

Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

More like ouch for you, for posting that

2 Muffins in an oven... One muffin turns to the other & says: "geee it's hot in here"......

The 2nd muffing screams back: "Arhhhh!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

I like that one

That's the joke behind posting that.

classic.

This was in Scorpy's sig for a while.

At first, there was nothing. Then God said "let there be light!" There was still nothing, but you could see it a lot better.

Knock knock. who's there?

the police. open up you're under arrest

I think im doin it wrong

A woman's underpants are like a car crash, blood at the front skid marks at the back =]

Please do not disgust me like that ever again.